Frustrations of a Gay Virgin

I had mental-health clinicals and being in the adult unit…

was like being on the elementary school playground again. I need to learn how to just brush off the insults. It’s not really them right?

So that’s what I did. The ghetto kids in elementary and middle school called me “Jap”, “Chink”, “Asian”, “indian”, shit face, fatty, brownie, ching-chong, gay, fag, cock-sucker, to name a few. Today on the floor, one of the schizoaffective patients called me “fag” many times. It really triggered those incredibly demeaning insults introduced to me as an elmentary student, back to mind…. so much damn emotions. I just walked away. 

It was because I am me. And I’ll be me. But, then again, I also provoked him in saying it because of the way I approached him. I said, “hey you better stop pretending or else you’ll get in trouble, you better watch it”. Yeah. I guess my rapport wasn’t as strong as I though it was. Then he taunted me. 

Being a student nurse I had no power, but to walk away, ignore his gestures and insults, and make sure to show him who needs the help. 

Mental health nursing, and any nursing for that matter is all in approach. I guess I need to work on that.